~ The End of 2010 ~

Dear you,

Things happened in 2010

Janunary

Jan 12 - Car got stolen. Heart broken on the first time. The incident happened is mainly due to my fault. Due to my cowardness, i didn't get the car back from him. I dare not to say it out. I should learnt my lesson at the first point.

February

Busy with insurance settlement. Plenty of calls made. It made me feel tired and lossing myself in doing all these stuffs.

March

It was during internship and it was the peak of it. Worked until almost 1am everyday. The whole body and mind were almost worn out but still i managed to come over it by kept on complaining and struggling. ( what a bad way to deal with problem, people, you should not complain about the things that you have to do, now, i learnt my lesson, never complain, because you chose it at the first place)

Planning of trip with friends to Hong Kong. Have been searching of hotels, transportation, discussion was all over through mail. It was my so called "mental" meal daily to receive mail from these two friends to let me started my days with their funny messages.

April

It was the birth month of my little cute sister. I wished to send her something cute but i have not enough money to do so since posting to overseas will cost half of my pay. Then, i sent her a card, an e-card where i have searched through for days..I realized, the process of buying or choosing a present for your loved one, basically, you are the one who get the most of the happiness. The feeling of doing so is simply too good :)

May

There were another two months to go before i ended my internship in accenture and of course, i am waiting for that because i really felt so tired, physically and mentally.

Friends gathering in KL. We have lots of fun together and i got my birthday present from my friends. Five months delayed but still, it's warm :)

June

Counting down as the days to stay in KL is getting shorter and shorter. Basically, all those trip stuffs were settled, hotel is booked, transportation was confirmed, planning visiting places were chosen. What three of us were looking forward was the trip.

Ok, here comes the sad news, a call from insurance - yea, they approved for the car settlement but somehow the price that they pay was merely cover the car loan from bank and I feel cheated by the insurance because the price is different on what they told me at the first time. The difference is RM3000. Though it's not a big amount, i feel totally cheated. A call from the supervisor and told me that they are willing to pay me RM xxx but after a day, a manager called and told me another price which was less RM 3000 from the first call i received! what a joke! i was totally freak out by it! fine, this time, i am not going to bear with my politeness, i called back and have a fight with the manager. I couldn't bear my anger and totally shout at the manger. Being cheated for the first time would be ok but now, i have learnt my lesson enough and i have to speak it out. However, i can only speak out my complaints to the company but and of course, i couldn't claim back the RM3000. i have done my part.

July

It was the last month of my internship. I was busy to prepare the final internship project, presentation..lots of things to finish up before i went back to my home. There were lots of farewells, having nice food with colleagues. These were all those mesmorizing memories that couldn't be erased off.

Hong Kong and Macau trip: yea, here it goes...friends, we did have lots of fun...disneyland?? lan kwai fong?? or taking photos..haha..lots of good food...wantan mee? egg tart? things only you two will know..

School reopen, and new semester started :)

August

Sister came back from Hong Kong. Things should go smoothly.

I lived on my days like usual, chose my final year project topic. Having fun and chats with my friends. Be a student again which i have hoped for a long time since March.

September

Here comes the peak, again, while i have just came back and recovered from the sadness of lossing a car, and now, i had my first car accident. phew..what a mess i have done to all these and again, i should take up full responsibility as i am not only wrecking my dad's car but also the car of another driver. He was in need of his car but somehow, it was totatlly ruined by this careless and an empty-minded me.sorry. and of course, i have to deal with insurance again. all those insurance procedures but thanks to my family, they truly show me fully support at the moment though i brought a big mess for them. thanks and sorry for all these.

October

Yea, i thought things were back to the track again, like usual but whenever you hope for peacefulness, peacefulness will run away from you. One day, while i was on a project tour to KL, i received a call from my sister in the early mornig. Yea...as bad as you can think of, a theft came in and stole all the valueble things in my house. yea...this it is! i was totally stunned! really stunned because i was wondering what had happened to me and my family, are we doing something bad until we get this bad luck? i don't know and i was totally speechless and clueless.

People will get stronger when they met with difficulties, i believe in a saying, there are only two roads to choose when you face with difficulties, either you die or you will get succeed from it. I am not saying the real die die, and am not saying the real success success. It means when you survive from the difficulties, you will become stronger or else you can never get survive from it, you will only drawn in it.

I pretty much think that i have walked through it. Walked through this kind of dark moment. Yea, by having the faith in god and positiveness, i believe we can do that and make a better day. (kinda like a word consoling myself, haha)

November

Wow, exam period, final presentation period. Back to normal student life again. Did all those things that a student will do.

December

Phew, what a long journey to come up till December. Many things happened in this month.

Firstly, my cute little sister came back from aus. We have fun together. Secondly, my elder sister made a decision to go away from her hometown and went to myanmar. Though, i feel sad upon her leaving but what else i can do is to fully support her since she doesn't like it here so much and honest speaking, i don't like it here as well. No feeling and no place that i feel like going besides of my cozy home. But this is where i grown up, i might as well appreciate it.

Basically, what i have gained so much in this year is independence. Independence in mind. Independence in action. Yet i am still that coward and stubborn upon my response to something. These, i believe, it takes time and experience to change it.

I wish everyone a good ahead.  A better year, a peaceful year.

merry christmas

merry christmas, merry christmas and merry christmas..
how merry will this christmas be?
i don know
what are you hoping for in this christmas?
togetherness
what are you looking forward in this coming year?
family, money and togetherness
what would you try to do to achieve all those?
no idea, since family first, then i will try to stick with them as much as possible
something make you feel sad and act-like-don't-know-what-to-do moment?
yea, am a little bit sad upon my sister leaving to another country
what can you do about that?
i don know, feel like crying but it doesn't help much
anyway, what you can do now is get yourselves some good night sleep, write down your feeling and express it here, let them know that you love them so much and you are gonna to be with them forever and ever.
i love you.

好玩 。 生活

每个人都有他的性格，他自己对于每件事情的了解，我们不能给于太多自己本身的想法于他人， 我们对于每一件事情的见解仅仅能用于本身事情所发生的范围。。太多的了解，太多的建议，那反而会让人莫不着头脑， 让人混乱。。太多的了解于某件事情，也可能让事情变得不好玩。。失去了它原有的神秘， 原有的探索。。很可惜，我永远无法做一个潇洒，探索神秘的好玩人。。往往让自己处于安全地带。。踏踏实实地生活着。。仲然， 我很想逃离这个安全框框，做个勇敢的好玩人。。

因此，我为我姐姐感到高兴， 她能去一个不同的国度里生活。。提会那所谓的当地生活。。我相信，每个人都能让我们从中学习。。不是我们所能带个别人什么，而是我们能从普通人身上能学习什么。。谦虚学习就是真正谦卑虚心得学习别人对生活的态度。。而我们对生活的态度， 也能影响别人对生活的看法。。只但愿别人能领悟到不一样的道理，不一样的生活。。因为生活也没有所谓的对与错，我们或别人能看到什么， 我们管不着， 也不能管。。只因， 每个人有不一样的体会。。

刚才我提到我为姐姐感到高兴是因为她能去不同的国家生活。。我并不提倡外国月亮比较圆的道理，而是她能生活于一种我一直寻找的生活方式，傻里傻气，带点霸到地生活着。。可能很多人会认为那是一种自私的生活方式， 理智的我也会认为那是对生活的不负责任。。其实另一个我真正向往着这样的生活。。也因此，我非常喜欢三毛这个人， 因为三毛对生活没有抱怨。。永远能了解，运用活在当下的道理。。她完完全全生活着我不可能做到的生活。。她对任何事情的见解真的令人感叹，她完完全全能玩生活。。好玩到极点！！型！！而我也不能不承认，我姐姐也过着类似的生活。。生活过程中的累与苦也是她精彩生活的点缀。。真的是好好玩。。她也是帮我实现着我的梦寐生活。。活着那样好玩的生活，真是该好好珍惜， 好好玩下去！！

craving for chocolate

dear chocolate,

suddenly missing you so much-chocoalate...feel like eating nice looking and yummy chocolate....CHOCOLATE...CHOKOOLUK....CHOKOOLUK!!!

崩溃

爱之心切，反而害了你。。
把你放下，让你走你所谓对的路。。
我从苦口婆心劝导，至全力支持，我能做的就拿么多，
我看透地，你永远不能实行。。但偏偏你一直说你明白。。
我讨厌你的承若， 往往不能达到，你的自私自利，永远不能改掉，
欲望把你给蒙骗，你把欲望当希望，把欲望当愿望。。
我打从心里哭泣，谁又能明白，我所承受的苦，又有多少人能了解。。。
你我都一样，为何你终是把你问题看得那么重！！！

L.I.V.E

We can always vision our future, imagine our future live and hopefully can get rid of our current living and live in our imagination kind of live, but have we ever understand the theory of NOW?!

We can see our destination, we want to have a rich live, to stay in a good place, to have a good family, living happily ever after, but but but, there is always a but, have we ever understand the way on how to reach to our destination?? the word, HOW??!

What kind of path we should select to reach there? What kind of difficulies that we are going to face along this way? it's a simple question, but how many people can really understand this?? they think there is always a short cut path to reach their destination without facing problems, come on, it's such a naive thought..

Behind every success stories, there sure is a sad story or difficulties that no one knows, why are we still stupidly enough to believe the surface of a richman's life? even cinderrella story is telling us that she needs to go through the hard life before she met with her prince, but why we are still blinded by our so called dreams and forget on how to live our current live better? Why can we live it to the fullest and do something as our basic to reach our destination?

Without the hard live path, we are not going to achieve a good life, without a basic understanding of this simple theory, no one can really get successful.

Please think!! Life is not easy, you have to accept of what you are now, the foreseen you, the imagination you will only be reached if you manage to cross through the current you!

one step behind

one step behind,
things may drag behind,
people tend to say, enjoy while you can,
but i know i prefer to leave,
i prefer to fulfill my dream by doing things according to my plan,
i might be pragmatic upon my planning,
but this is what i hope to see,
i wish my dream comes true a little bit faster,
i wish to control my free life a little bit faster,
though a simple three months do not influence much,
the feeling of being trapped keep on arousing in my mind,
if i have yet to plan anything, the three months are as if a gift of time,
but now, things changed, i have plans,
so, a minute of being here is killing me,
anyhow, i have to accept the truth,
means, thought needs to be changed,
mind needs to be adjusted,
really have to practice on using the power of now.

Can someone influence a person's feeling???

Why?? why do you change because of him?? please, find something that can own by just yourself, no need to share with him. just let him be..whenever he makes you unhappy, or his action or words that make you feel unhappy, then please just let it be!! find things that can make you happy and forget about the hurt- aching action that is done by him. he is just simply too stupid to understand you. You have swing mood, people cannot understand you just like that...so please, do not ever let someone to influence your heart!! why cant you just be a little bit independent, a little bit selfish to your ownself, do not let him to ever enter your secret happy garden, do not share that with him, that's the limit...whenever, he makes you frustrated, you still can have your own happy garden to rely on.... so, please, just be yourself, give yourself sometimes to be happy!!

My theory

I have observed a theory of my own for a quite a period. I have noticed it since few years ago but i have just ignored it. Until lately, i figured it out and I can say that, when someone is really hoping for a wish or situation to come true, when you give high hope on that, the things that you are hoping for will never come true..!! But, it will happen if you are not expecting it. It sounds ironic but that's so true on me though it's somehow a discouraging kind of message... i wonder if this theory can only apply on me or it actually exists in the world?? i wonder if others will face such a problem...ermmm...keeps me wondering..

Horoscope of today for sagittarian

" Outgoing? Ultra sociable? Who, you? You bet you are. It's what you're most famous for. You're so famous for it, in fact, that when you're even a little bit down in the dumps, your friends and family don't know how to handle it. They've seen you worried lately, so they'll be delighted to see you now, in fine form, smiling and laughing, like your old self -- and it won't feel too bad from your perspective, either"

this is really what i like to read about ...cheers.

10.10.10

Today is 10/10/2010, 10th October 2010, 10.10.10...i do think that i should jot down the day or at least say it once on today to remember such a complete day. it's like chinese saying 十全十美。。no matter if today is really that perfect or not, we shall still live on our life to the fullest, we shall feel grateful for we have and feel thankful that we are able to live on this special number day. So, may everyone of us do have peaceful life, live on days full of hope and enjoy every single moment of it. Love peace...

一份贴心的礼物

昨夜受到一位好朋友的电话，跟她谈了近来所发生的事情，她的关心，她的体谅， 真的让我很感动。。今天，我出门去处理一些事情时，刚到路口，我竟然看见她驾着车往我家方向去，我把车停下，回头找她，原来她担心我因近来的事情， 怕我累垮，而从老远的家驾车来找我， 并且送上她深深的慰问，体贴的礼物。。真的太感动了，真的深深地体会到朋友的重要性。。。真的谢谢她。。谢谢她！！ 谢谢我周围的好朋友，谢谢他们对我的关心。。谢谢！！真的很感激你们。。谢谢！！事情会慢慢的好起来，我相信我能慢慢的好起来。。谢谢你们！！

阿公

亲爱的外公：

今天你病倒了，心脏不好，呼吸困难，必须立刻送进医院，听了这个消息后，我的心情往下一沉。。。久久不能自己。。

近来，我都处于坏心情，悲伤的环境里，生活的忙碌，事情的不顺利都让我感到措手不及，都无法好好的，顺顺利利地处理它们，我无法承受其它的不好事物。。所以，阿公， 请您无论如何都必须好好，健康地活下去，。。请您一定要好起来！！

希望阿弥陀佛能听见我我对他的祈祷

阿弥陀佛, 阿弥陀佛, 阿弥陀佛
阿弥陀佛, 阿弥陀佛, 阿弥陀佛
阿弥陀佛, 阿弥陀佛, 阿弥陀佛

Keep on believing!!

Dear you,

we have to keep on believing in our life though the path in front of us is hard... no matter how bad it is, it is a way for us to learn the things. There is no short cut for the things that we do, there is no wrong decision that we make... all those are called a process, it's a process of growing, a process for us to find out the true way...so my dear friend, please believe in yourselves, just make a decision that you feel you are comfortable with...enjoy every single moment of life, treasure it with love....

we got to have positive thinking to attract positive stuff and positive energy!! this is called law of attraction, fully concentrate on thinking good things, saying good words, living good life!! there is no right or wrong decision, as long as it suits you the most, it brings no harm to others and at the same time, it gives you good feeling, comfortable and happy, then, my dear friend, go with your dream, go with your decision...i will support you from time to time...this is what i can promise here!!

with great attitude, i believe, no matter where you are, you will be respected, you will be treasured!!
To you with love...

warmest regards,
sarah

A.N.S.Y.S

Amazing is the first word I can think of when we met;
No matter how i like you,
Still, i cant solve the problem between us;
You are always that secretive, remain in silence all the times, but now,
Stupid is the only word that i can think of, for YOU!

i am sorry

today, 16th september 2010. i had a car accident. i am sorry. i don mean to make that happened. i really feel so sorry to my family, to bring them that much of trouble and of course, i do feel sorry for another car owner who has his car crashed by me. i am so sorry to everyone who involved in this accident. i din pay attention while driving and i am the one who should be blamed. i am sorry, thousands sorry to everyone...i blame no one and i have brought my family into the miserable mood, i had my father's car crashed and i had other's car crashed as well..what the hell was i doing at that time, din i see that car?? what the hell was i doing?? i could i do this?? how could i make this happen??

my parents din even scold me due to my excessive action... my mom din scold me at all though i had a fight with her before i had this accident happened. i m sorry!! totally sorry!! i should be blamed for all the things that happened...i am so sorry....

sorry ah pa, sorry ah ma, sorry ah jie and sorry ah girl!!
of course, my sincerely apology to the involved car owner, sorry!!

风和日丽

风和日丽，阳光普照，徐徐微风，让人神怡，
鸟声四起，让人早起，抬头一望，竟看见保，
忽然想起，昨夜赶车，一路到来，疲惫得很，
看见熟人，热情挥手，人没回头，心情忧闷；



我忙为由，不曾卸下，沉重理想， 一直前走，
快到下午，匆忙收拾，头也不回， 继续赶路，
发现老人，动作缓慢，捡起黄花， 欣赏夕阳，
疯狂的我，凡事匆匆，不懂欣赏， 美丽黄昏。

HOLY DAYS!!

phew!! at last, the semester break arrives.....and yesh, this sunday will be the time for me to test my limit of adventurous since i will be going to participate in some kind of adventurous activities...i am fear of height but somehow, i have to climb up to fifth floor high building in order to start the game..it's pretty challenging for me...i wonder will i be able to reach till the end of the whole game...?? i might give up and ask for help ( shouting for help) so that someone can take me down, let me be on the ground again instead of hanging in the air by just a string...hahahahaahah...lol...

and of course, tomorrow i will be going to kl to meet some friends and we plan to have a splendid buffet lunch in jogoya, by thinking of having nice food, drinks excite me alot and i am waiting for that moment to arrive!! KL, HERE I COME AND JOGOYA.....SEE YOU THERE!!

wow, wishing everyone of us do have great moments and a nice long holiday!!

流浪的终点

昨晚刚看完了一本书：如题目所写-流浪的终点。书里头的一些话深深的记在我脑海里， 可能因看书看得太夜，导致书里所写的一些句子还在脑里徘徊着。。。久久不肯离去， 考试，功课都无法一一专心完成。。。

书里头提及，流浪的终点就是另一个生活的起点， 说的好！！但，作者之所以说的如此是因为书里主角是经历了流浪，让他体会了流浪的感觉（流浪不一定是拿着背包， 四处游荡，流浪可以是你心灵上的游荡，你那颗寻寻觅觅， 一直在寻找着什么的心。。）多年后，当男主角决定结束流浪， 回去他的家（一个为了完成他的梦想而决定离去的家）因为男主角终于知道对自己最为重要，最珍惜的事与物原来一直在他的家乡能寻得而他也依然放弃掉他一直打拚所得到的事业，恻然踏上回国的路。。书中其中一句也说到，人往往会忽略掉他们身边的人与物，人只会往前看，一直寻找他们的理想， 到头来才会发现他们想要的东西都一直在他们的身边，人总要绕个大圈才会发现。。。

其实，人，没有经历过痛，又如何能体会与珍惜不痛的感觉呢？人，没有经历过流浪，没看见五花八门，四彩缤分的世界， 又如何去珍惜那花花世界里所带来的那份平淡生活呢？？路，是不会被白走的， 你所作的每一个选择都是你自己能体会，让你成长的机会， 没有了你现在选择的路，又哪来你盼望的未来呢？路， 一直都在，只要我们肯走下去。。。

discovered a big news!! wow!!

oh my god!! i have discovered a big news!! i just simply typed a name on the google search bar, then i found your name, of course, without hesitation, i clicked on your blog and read through it...i don't know that i am that authoritative until you will write something like that on the blog!! oh my god!! i really need to say my sorry to you!! i really have to give you a very sincere apology so that you can forgive of what i have done to you!! maybe i care you so much until you will think that i am that control of your life!! i am not, i am totally not!! i am sorry!!

after i read through your blog, i don know if you want me to have the chance to read through it but i realized that you are totally in love with the person that you love so much...i am totally underestimate your love towards him....if it's good?? i don know and of course i will not judge a love of a person towards another person...i am only hoping that you are happy of what you have right now, enjoying your life to the fullest....i am here wishing you the best and may you be in loved forever and ever...to be soaked in the love feeling that you are hoping for....to be cared all the times no matter where and whenever you are....i am just hoping the very very best for you!! no matter what, i am always be there for you as long as you will not think me as a control-your-life person.....

Thanks...

it's good to have friends who understand you and always stay by your side to share the laughter, jokes and somemore, they are the only group who can fully understand your jokes, your way of talking and your way of saying out your opinion. It's just simply too good and I am so lucky to have them by my side. Whenever i need them, they will be there for me, i just have to knocked on their door and walk into their room, sit down and talk non-stop with them....it's totally an amazing gift and i truly appreciate that moment!!

though it's just simple act from them, like taking me out for lunch, shared their tea with me, shared the jokes, roommate did some funny action, funny accent that i have never expected from her...hahaha...it's just a bless from god that i have the chance to know them all though sometimes i may feel a bit lonely but whenever i think of them, a sweet smile will immediately appear on my face... a smile that is appeared sincerely deep down from my heart....thanks to them!!

and oh ya, i realized that my roommate looks pretty though she is a little bit of zi luan because she has printed out her self-pose pictures and put it into different angle and asked me: " do i look pretty??" ..a totally =.='...hahahha..that's is so funny of her....

and during lunch time, when fei walked out from her room, i couldn't stop myself from looking at her because she looked really pretty when she tied her hair into pony tail style which it suited her well...i was amazed that she did look that good at that time (only!!)..hahahahhaahahahaha

and of course, during dinner time, when may fetched us to the market to buy the dinner, the way she drived look so YING!! though i was damn worried on her driving skill but one point that i cant deny is that she has the super-driving-skill-girl look. :) i will say so, because i don have that look and i m not good in driving.. =.='

等待

当我们很企待某件事情的发生或等待着一个你自己也不能确定的感觉，而它也没能与你所企盼的发生，往往我们也只可以慢慢让我们所等待的心慢慢得回复过来。。慢慢得把那种你等待， 盼望的心带回现实。。。很可惜，我们的表情可以没有很大的变化， 它的失落，感伤， 外人也不易察觉。。。也只有我们能一分一分去提会它的变化， 当它回复了平静时，我们也将那颗心去等待下个等待。。。这也真正是我们的那颗心所不容易理解的奥妙。。。



------------=======----------------=======--------------=======----------

(这代表了你等待的心，变化不大，不易发现，但它却出现在你生活里，一直重复着）

this is for you!!

dear you,

this is for u..to fulfill your dream, to make your dream comes true....hehehe...i wonder what is your expression now??

so, how is your day? glad to be in utp tonight though tomorrow is our national day and we should have our gorgeous holiday. however, we are stucked here for this nonsense tests...and somemore, we dont have any feeling to study for the test...

you, i am looking forward for tomorrow lunch, and am looking forward for the ice cream that i m hoping you will bring to me...remember, ice cream makes me happy and of course to everyone of us...i wan ice-cream..ice-cream, ice-cream....ICE CREAM!!!! (SCREAMING FOR ICE-CREAM NOW!!)

oh ya, by the way, my roommate is talking about food now, it sounds super delicious and makes me feel hungry..(korean food somemore =.=')..i think i need food....you, pls prepare the food now!! (this is an order)

ok, you...i got to stop crapping here, ppl may think that i am sot pa lak..talking nonsense here for at least 5 mins......ok, will update you with my news soon, very soon,,,

enjoy reading!

thanks

sarah